Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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