nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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