So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
