no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
