He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize