He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
