some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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