Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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