When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just tell him i said nine months
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
