omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize