i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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