She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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