i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
