I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
