Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
