I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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