I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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