Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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