I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
