no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
