Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
