No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have fence marks all over my body
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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