So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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