i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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