every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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