____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize