I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
