Do vagina's smell?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When did angry sex become our thing?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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