so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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