Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
