we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
