Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
