You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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