Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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