tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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