You can't motorboat a personality
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
