I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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