Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
