"it" just moved
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
