Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think i have two assholes
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
