Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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