i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
