SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
