So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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