And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize