You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
