let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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