Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
