I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
