the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
