Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
