But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
