Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize