When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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