that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
