i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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