Where are you?
In a non slutty way
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
