My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
