I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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