the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
try to milk me bitch
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