those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I would ride that face into the sunset
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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