My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
