do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
