If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
