Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
