i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
