I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
