Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
