Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize